The Birth Story

Kylie’s Birth and Reflections on Motherhood

Our sweet baby girl, Kylie Steck, arrived on April 20^th, 2011 at 10:06 PM. She weighed an impressive 9 pounds 5 ounces and is 21 inches long. We are head over heels in love with her and can’t stop kissing her chubby cheeks, holding her perfect little body, and admiring her beautiful face.

We were hoping that I would go into labor spontaneously so that I could labor at home for a while before heading to the hospital, but my body wasn’t cooperating and at 5 days past my due date we went in for an induction because we felt like it was the safest thing to do for our daughter. Waiting for something to happen on its own didn’t feel right and so we changed our plans and headed to the hospital on Wednesday morning to get things going.

Looking hotter than ever in my hospital gown.

Waiting for things to get started. The view from the delivery room.

Resting while my contractions were just getting started.

It took a while to get things started because of a mix up concerning the doctor’s orders for the pitocin, but at 10:00 AM they broke my water and started giving me small doses of pitocin through my IV. I started feeling contractions within a half an hour but they were only a discomfort and I was still able to rest in the bed. We put a movie in to distract ourselves and wait for my labor to progress. It only took about 45 minutes for things to change from uncomfortable to painful and for the movie to change from funny to distracting so we turned it off and focused on getting through the contractions together.

My smile changed to this look when a contraction started up. I suddenly wasn't in the mood for picture time.

Jonathan was my rock of support, encouragement, and focus as each contraction came and went. I leaned on his shoulders and we swayed and breathed deeply together while I managed each wave of pain. He hugged me, held me, stroked my hair and cheeks, kissed me, talked to and encouraged me. He got me socks when my feet were cold, water when I was thirsty, hair ties when I needed my hair up, and fed me orange jello and apple juice to keep my blood sugars up. He did everything for me and he was there with me on an emotional and spiritual level that I cannot describe nor adequately express my gratitude for. He was incredible.

My birthing plan was to try for a non-medicated birth because I wanted to see if my body could do it. And I did for seven hours. The pitocin helped my labor progress quickly and it made things incredibly intense. From about 11:00 AM on, I was an extremely focused woman trying to call upon all my resources of knowledge and practice to manage the pain that I was in. There is no way I would have gotten through those seven hours without Jonathan’s help and ceaseless support. I cannot describe what the pain was like – especially during those last two hours before I decided to get an epidural. Each contraction was overwhelming, painful, and intense. It took so much effort to simply breathe through each wave of pain and there were many contractions were I felt almost disconnected from my body yet still completely aware of how intense the pain was. Almost as if the rest of my body disappeared and the only things left were my contracting uterus and my lungs trying to get enough air to breathe. I would breathe in as much oxygen as I could manage and then groan and grunt and moan the pain and carbon dioxide out. Making noise was so helpful and natural and Jonathan encouraged me to keep on groaning because he knew it was helping me manage things.

At some point when things were getting more intense a very nice female chaplain with a lovely accent came to our room and asked if it would be alright to call the Temple and ask them to put my name on the prayer roll. I was so overcome with emotion, namely gratitude that I could barely answer yes. It was a really tender moment for me - a testimony builder that Heavenly Father was very aware of my situation and that He cared and was watching over me.

About five or six hours into labor I decided that the Jacuzzi tub would be really helpful in managing my pain and helping me to relax. Thankfully, the hospital had monitor units that were portable and could go in the water so that I wasn’t stuck in bed or in my room as I was required to wear them because I was on pitocin. The hot water was instantly soothing and helped me to deal with the intensity of what was happening to my body. Jonathan spooned orange jello into my mouth and made sure I drank plenty of juice and water. There were a few brief moments of relief in those first 30 minutes in the tub, but that sense of relief was followed by several contractions that were so intense I was having trouble knowing what to do with myself. Jonathan let me squeeze his hand, which helped because it reminded me that I was not alone and that someone who loved me was there to carry me through those 90 seconds of agony. He talked to me and helped me breathe as he reminded me of what an amazing job I was doing and of how proud he was of me.

Getting pretty tired. Just before heading to the jacuzzi.

As things became increasingly intense in the bath tub I took a few moments between contractions to evaluate my situation. I was only dilated to 4 cm when I got into the tub which meant that I was only in active labor. Transition was still to come and I knew that transition, while shorter than active labor, it much more intense. I was rapidly approaching my tolerance for the pain (which is pretty high) and I had to ask myself what I wanted from the remainder of this beautiful experience. The answer that came was really clear: I had done a great job and enjoyed the experience thus far, even though it was very painful and intense, and I wanted to continue to enjoy the rest of the process and I knew deep down that asking for an epidural would allow me to better enjoy the birth of our daughter. It felt so right, even though I had planned on doing the whole thing without pain medication, I knew it was the right change to make to my plans.

That decision was confirmed about 40 minutes later when I was finally back in bed, waiting for the epidural, lying flat in bed so they could check my cervix that things started to become ever more intense and very painful. Being on my back was the absolute worst position and I could not remain like that during a contraction. I didn’t care that the nurse’s hands were exploring my cervix, when a contraction hit I instantly rolled over and begged Jonathan to hold me tightly. It was all I could do to hold onto him and tell myself that I was okay if he was there. I had a few contractions on my side like that and they were out of body experiences – I could feel that my body and mind were losing control and it took everything I had to just make it through the next wave.

I was so happy to see the nurse anesthetist come into the room with his cart full of big needles and drugs. He did a great job getting the catheter into my epidural space in spite of my back surgery scar tissue (he had to try twice because there was too much scar tissue in the way with the first attempt). It was very challenging to hold still trough three contractions while he finished the procedure, but Jonathan held me close and I just groaned my way through it. After I was hooked up to the epidural pump I started to feel sweet relief as the intensity and pain of each contraction started to fade. I was feeling so much better 15 minutes later and so grateful that I had the wisdom to know my limits and that I didn’t try to attempt to run faster than I had strength.

Jonathan and I were both relieved and I was surprised to see how visibly tired he was when he sat down in the rocking chair across the room. He looked exhausted and I am sure that I looked even worse. Jonathan was able to sleep for a few hours while I got some much needed rest. I was almost completely pain free (I would occasionally feel an intense pressure which was slightly painful, but totally manageable) and I was able to turn myself from side to side on my own as I could actually move my legs quite well. The epidural was so wonderful and I am so glad that I decided to get it.

Really worn out, but so relieved to have an epidural!

I dilated from 5 cm to 10 cm in about five hours while we rested and I wasn’t surprised when the nurse told me that I was completely dilated and that the baby’s head was already very low at plus 2 station. She helped me get into a good position to help the baby descend more easily and called the doctor to let her know I was ready to push. She showed up about 25 minutes later and we got the show on the road.

While we waited for the doctor to arrive, we took a moment to pray to thank Heavenly Father for getting us to that point and to ask for help for the next moments. It was a really sweet moment that we got to share before becoming parents.

Waiting for the doctor to arrive so I could start pushing.

I had no idea what pushing would be like with an epidural and I was slightly worried that I wouldn’t be able to push effectively because of the epidural. They set up a mirror across the room so that I could see what was going on and that was incredibly helpful to have a visual reference to how hard I was pushing and if I was actually pushing harder when they asked me to. Her head was so low when I started pushing that we could see the top of it and that was extremely motivating. With each push her head descended even lower and I was surprised at how quickly she was coming down the birth canal. At 10:01 I looked at the clock and told the doctor and Jonathan that my goal was to have her delivered by 10:10. Five minutes later, she was born at 10:06 PM. I only had to push for 17 minutes which was awesome and it was so incredible to see her big head and chubby cheeks emerge from inside of me. She was finally here and it was a priceless, indescribable moment when they placed my daughter on my chest and I met Kylie for the first time. She was crying and pink and she had so much hair! Jonathan and I were grinning from ear to ear and our hearts grew instantly. She had arrived safely and she was perfect – all 10 of her very long fingers and toes accounted for.


She was so long and chubby!

I am a mommy!

Jonathan was so excited. He is completely smitten with her.

I did get a third degree tear giving birth to her, but have been doing remarkably well considering how much damage was done. She was much bigger than we were anticipating she would be and I had to do a double take when I saw her weight on the scale from across the room – 9 pounds 5 ounces! I thought I must be seeing things and that it really only said 8 pounds 5 ounces. But I wasn’t seeing things; I had really given birth to a 9 pound 5 ounce baby. No wonder I tore – but my body will heal and our little Kylie bug is totally and completely worth it.

Everything went so well despite the change in plans that we had to make. I wouldn’t have changed anything because she is here safely and it was a wonderful experience that has forever changed me. I told Kylie the other day while she was nursing that she is the reason I was born. I can’t describe what an amazing feeling it is to be a mother. I am so grateful and I am enjoying every second of it.