Good people still exist

For all of those skeptics out there that wonder what this world is coming to, complain about the lack of unity that we now feel in society, and plan for the worst, let me say that you need to have a little faith.

For the past two years I have been struggling with chronic back pain. Lots of people have back pain and lots of those people learn how to manage that pain. I have been trying to do that for a long while now - sometimes taking Advil every day, twice a day, sometimes simply gritting my teeth and taking some deep breaths, and lately by doing a whole lot of nothing all day. I wish that I could be super woman and do a lot of things every day, but my back pain is to the point that my body simply won't support super-woman activities (like doing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, dinner, and evening sitting at the computer for more than a few minutes).

This past week has been one of the hardest. Beyond the pain is a thick layer of frustration at not being able to do what I want to do. It is really hard to measure my worth or value when all I can get done in a day is one round of dishes, some dinner, and a lot of rest. I have to keep reminding myself that I am of worth no matter what I can and cannot do. And even though I know that I am of worth simply because I am alive, it is still really hard to want to do something and not be able to.

(Here is where the message to all you skeptics comes in). Today at church our friends, the Hansens asked us how we were doing and Lindsey asked me how my job search was going. I told her that I have put that on hold for now because of my back pain. I tried explaining to her that I was struggling to even keep up with basic household chores, but I couldn't get much out before my emotions crept to the surface. She instantly expressed how sorry she was, told me that I would be in their prayers, and asked what she could do to help. I wasn't sure what to tell her (I have never been very good at asking for help) but she offered to bring us dinner on Monday and I accepted her gracious offer.

Then, in Priesthood, Jonathan mentioned that it had been a hard week for us and he said that he got emotional as he mentioned that I have been struggling with some pain due to health issues. While I waited after the meeting for Jonathan to finish talking to some other Elders (Jonner is the President right now) one of his counselors came to me and offered to bring us dinner on Tuesday. Again, I accepted and was deeply moved by the charity that others posses. Proof that there are still good people out there.

But the thing that meant the most to me today is how my sweet husband confided in his stake leader and shed his own tears in my behalf. He has been taking such good care of me during all of this, but it wasn't until today that he expressed his sorrow for my suffering to another person. Then when I walked into the room, he came to me and embraced me with tears streaming down his face. I wasn't sure why he was crying, but later found out that it was for me. It may sound silly, but his tender feelings for me were a God-send because I knew in that moment that I was of worth - even if all I am able to do for most of the day is rest on the couch. He is my best friend, my confidant, my advocate, and my love. He is my biggest blessing and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for him.

So yes, good people still exist and I want to be more like them.